Hmm. I was so emo, right. Well I have to admit, I cried. I cried so much that night. I cried shamelessly like a child craving for something he couldn't achieve. Or a child who just lost his teddy bear.
Now I'm ashamed to my dad. He asked why I was crying. I couldn't answer. And I can't answer here too. It's the most stupid thing, and regretly to say, I've done it.
So that's the reason why I skipped UAS first day. I wasn't ready for it. I couldn't study at the night before it, as I said, I had a heavy heart. I was tired too, I just had UI test at Samarinda.
The driver was crazy! It was like he was having heavy heart for something, so he drove madly, very extreme. Firstly, I didn't care much about it, but when the centrifugal kept messing up the whole bus, I became freaked out. Unfortunately I picked seat at the back, so I felt the whole sensation, I didn't miss a thing. I was reading Arlin's book until I gave up. But then I moved to the middle seat of the bus, so that I could read the book uninterruptedly. The book was actually entertaining, sad but enjoyable. It's titled,, hmm I forgot. I can only remember the word 'senja di wajahmu'. I think... But when the night fell, I stopped reading.
I also bought English novel, but it sucks. You must know about Oliver Twist. Well I wasn't interested in it. There are also some stories which is more interesting for me, like Alice In Wonderland, Frankenstain, those old legendary tales. But when Alice came to one third of Oliver Twist's thickness at the same price, economically, I chose Oliver Twist. But when I came back home, I unwrapped the wrapping plastic and I was surprised of how complicated the sentences are. How would you have not been so afraid when that giant bus drives exceeding 100 KPH!
So, that was Sunday. I started continuing my life at the following day, Monday. Skipping school, I spent the whole day watching TV, eating, and so on until I studied history. Bryan came to my house, he was like the only one who could smile me up when my smiles were currently turned upside down. It's like he gave me the miracle when I felt so lonely, down, and trapped in the depth of deranged feeling - when I tried to cheer up myself pathetically by singing SO WHAT over and over again. Alecia Beth Moore cheered me up with her distinct rockstyle.
One thing for sure, things are not getting better in time. I need time to heal the pain, maybe it'll take my whole life time.
I almost forgot to add, there's farewell party, prom night, on the sixteenth of April. All I need is a fairy godmother who'll transform me beautifully that only lasts until 12pm.
Ucha and Usi came to my house when I was about to begin blogging, asking me to have breakfast together. Well I said I didn't have money, I'm at the most crisis point of monetary. She persuaded me more, she said she's giving me loan. awkey, then I came along with them. Usi was so Qteeeeeeee! I couldn't bear, she was like five years old chubby baby girl. Sometimes, Ucha and I wished something ridiculous like the perfect USI look-a-like doll. A doll which has the same moisture, rubbery cheeks. I would buy one for myself. hahahaha
Then, I'm kinda fed up with crying, and broken heart stuff, all those things resulting me in pimples. I'm afraid my tear gland is going to have a long drought right after a long rainy season.
And this created new habit, I slapped myself when my reverie goes on, contemplating or even worst, regretting. But the kinetic for the slapping hurts me sometime. :(
I ate a lot when I felt depressed. I ate two portions of pangsit last night. I thought I couldn't make it up, but eventually I did.
Well, do you think it's kinda uneven for boys to cry?
Now I'm ashamed to my dad. He asked why I was crying. I couldn't answer. And I can't answer here too. It's the most stupid thing, and regretly to say, I've done it.
So that's the reason why I skipped UAS first day. I wasn't ready for it. I couldn't study at the night before it, as I said, I had a heavy heart. I was tired too, I just had UI test at Samarinda.
The driver was crazy! It was like he was having heavy heart for something, so he drove madly, very extreme. Firstly, I didn't care much about it, but when the centrifugal kept messing up the whole bus, I became freaked out. Unfortunately I picked seat at the back, so I felt the whole sensation, I didn't miss a thing. I was reading Arlin's book until I gave up. But then I moved to the middle seat of the bus, so that I could read the book uninterruptedly. The book was actually entertaining, sad but enjoyable. It's titled,, hmm I forgot. I can only remember the word 'senja di wajahmu'. I think... But when the night fell, I stopped reading.
I also bought English novel, but it sucks. You must know about Oliver Twist. Well I wasn't interested in it. There are also some stories which is more interesting for me, like Alice In Wonderland, Frankenstain, those old legendary tales. But when Alice came to one third of Oliver Twist's thickness at the same price, economically, I chose Oliver Twist. But when I came back home, I unwrapped the wrapping plastic and I was surprised of how complicated the sentences are. How would you have not been so afraid when that giant bus drives exceeding 100 KPH!
So, that was Sunday. I started continuing my life at the following day, Monday. Skipping school, I spent the whole day watching TV, eating, and so on until I studied history. Bryan came to my house, he was like the only one who could smile me up when my smiles were currently turned upside down. It's like he gave me the miracle when I felt so lonely, down, and trapped in the depth of deranged feeling - when I tried to cheer up myself pathetically by singing SO WHAT over and over again. Alecia Beth Moore cheered me up with her distinct rockstyle.
One thing for sure, things are not getting better in time. I need time to heal the pain, maybe it'll take my whole life time.
I almost forgot to add, there's farewell party, prom night, on the sixteenth of April. All I need is a fairy godmother who'll transform me beautifully that only lasts until 12pm.
Ucha and Usi came to my house when I was about to begin blogging, asking me to have breakfast together. Well I said I didn't have money, I'm at the most crisis point of monetary. She persuaded me more, she said she's giving me loan. awkey, then I came along with them. Usi was so Qteeeeeeee! I couldn't bear, she was like five years old chubby baby girl. Sometimes, Ucha and I wished something ridiculous like the perfect USI look-a-like doll. A doll which has the same moisture, rubbery cheeks. I would buy one for myself. hahahaha
Then, I'm kinda fed up with crying, and broken heart stuff, all those things resulting me in pimples. I'm afraid my tear gland is going to have a long drought right after a long rainy season.
And this created new habit, I slapped myself when my reverie goes on, contemplating or even worst, regretting. But the kinetic for the slapping hurts me sometime. :(
I ate a lot when I felt depressed. I ate two portions of pangsit last night. I thought I couldn't make it up, but eventually I did.
Well, do you think it's kinda uneven for boys to cry?
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