Extraordinary Fun

Guess what? It’s not so bad being in Bontang. I had internet and all things. Nothing’s more comfortable than HOME. But something startled me when I’m here. Parents are going to turn our garden into a building. He said it was purposed to be a travel agent, and my mom is opening small lessons for underage students who need help to read and count mathematically. Yeah, mom is resigning from her job as a teacher in YPK. I think YPK is throwing out dead weights. It’s being over capacity and they’re trying to reduce their burden.

There were some friends of my remaining in this city. We hung out together this dusk, grouping ocha and Risma. We went to a small indistinct shop. It didn’t look more like a shop. It could be just a house from the distance. They were selling cheap outfits and football jackets. And some shoes! I bought ¾ white trousers and a black shirt.

Getting bored by the small range of collections, we rode our motorcycles to Ramayana! We bought smile t-shirts. Ocha bought one while Risma and I bought two pieces. They’re cheap and so tempting. And we got into accessories corner. We tried on crazy stuffs, cute things which were really disgusting. We took some shots of them. Risma was the main model. Gosh she has talent to become supermodel!ps : I'm not fashion blogger!

Remaining Alive! Surabayaa!

I arrived at 9 pm. Aga and I took a cab and went to aga’s house. And aga drove me to the nearest mcD that I could get my brother-in-law to pick me up, to my sister’s house.

Her house is big for two of them, including their 2-month infant. I had my own room, and my own bathroom. It was fun anyway.

My main agenda at Surabaya was watching movies, Eclipse and The Last Airbender. Dea and I bought t-shirts with 'Twilight Eclipse' words printed on them. I got the red one while dea got the white one. I knew she would choose the white one so I chose the red one before she asked it.

Twilight eclipse was the best among all the tetralogy stories so far. It became a hit these days. but still, some people are so malevolent that they don't like it becoming an international hit. Some made gossips about it. I don't care, it was all good that I want an encore. I was totally hyperventilating. This movie is such an exhilarating movie!


And 'The Last Airbender' didn't show as scheduled. It was postponed until this August. Before releasing, it already got tons of critics. Even Yahoo! ratings rates this movie 8% out of 100%. And the most surprising comes from new york times. They reviewed the movie and in the end stated 'The best way to watch The Last Airbender is probably with your eyes closed'. How cruel is that? The movie isn't even released yet but this callous statement has been there worldwide since I don't know. maybe long enough that everyone already knows!!
uh this is exasperating!!!

I spent so many days in Surabaya. I often hung out with dea. We mostly go to royal plasa. That’s our favorite shopping centre. Because it has everything we really needed. Like stinger! They have NX dance, and karaoke too! We did karaoke a lot. We were not good singer but we really enjoy singing though we couldn’t reach some notes. And when we sang ‘Crush’ by David Archuleta, she used her high notes while I enjoy using lower. We didn’t balance each other.

There was wedding party being held by dea’s family. I was invited. It was a fun celebration. Dea said there was a ghost appearance in the corner of the building. Thank god I saw nothing suspicious. I hate ghost story.

By the way, congrats to the newlywed! My sister had her first anniversary last Monday. Congrats too!

I always go to dea’s house. And then we went somewhere fun. One day we were experimenting ‘what sushi tastes like’. Unexpectedly they suck. They triggered nausea and I really wanted to throw up everytime it stucks in my throat. We ordered 18 of them. Dea ate 13 while I ate 4 of them. So we let a shit went to waste! I swore they were all disgusting. They were uncooked! They’re fishy and so I hate them ever since.

Going and coming, I spent almost two weeks in Surabaya. Then my dad asked me to go home. So I bought the ticket, two days before the flight. And guess how much it cost me? A million! Huh, daddy said that it’s fine. I went home by July 7th. It was a hard separation between me and my sister. I didn’t cry when I was in Juanda, but I cried a lot when I arrived at Balikpapan and read all the messages being pending when I turned my cellphone offline.

I arrived at home safely. And now I’m wondering all stuffs could be done in this town.

Moving to Middle

Well hello Jogja. It was a very tiring 8-hour trip on a train. I got companion, and coincidentally, he was a freshmen of University of Indonesia, just like me. We talked and talked until we finally fell asleep.

I woke by the 6 in the morning and the train was about to stop at tugu station, and so I texted usi to pick me up. I was bringing my 12 kg luggage. It was really heavy to put it on my thighs while usi drove the motorcycle. So pathetic, she picked me up with motorcycle. I was desperately lack of money, so using a cab was not a good idea to my finance. It’s cool anyway. Being a backpacker with a luggage? Haha that’s cool either. So before the adventure began, I should drop my heavy luggage. She drove me to my hotel then I put my luggage down to the receptionist desk. He said that the room I ordered was still occupied, so I just put my luggage and asked the receptionist to keep it. Then I met Agung at the lobby of the hotel. He was with his family including sister and mother.

Then I came back to usi and arlin which had come when I talked with the receptionist. We went to ima’s dorm. She has a very good dorm. With two beds, a lavatory and a bathroom, a television and so on, she has her own heaven. Two beds but she owned the whole room. She doesn’t mind with how much she would be charged. I think so.

And we left her dorm to get some breakfast. I was terribly hungry. I didn’t get anything to eat while I was on the train, I didn’t even have money to purchase anything. 3000 was the amount all I got that time. How pathetic that I was holding hunger and thirst for a whole night. Actually I did bring some breadtalks, but I was afraid to be thirst when there was nothing to drink.
So I ordered lontong sayur. And for the god’s sakes it was relieving. Then dopeng came and ordered something I couldn’t remember. Or he didn’t? ps: who cares!

We fled to arlin’s house. We were waiting for aga’s arrival. Aga would be my roommate at the hotel. And by the 12, we went to train station and get him picked up.

We were all ready to go have fun. We went to keraton. What a boring destination, but as long as we were together, everything passed by with laughter.

The day was getting dusk and orange. We went to alun-alun. We rode tandem bicycle. There were nine of us. We were split into three groups. Aga led lita and piti. Bryan led me and ima. And arlin led ucha and usi. Usi loosed one of her sandals. What a silly… she’s cute anyway. But I think she was getting into puberty phase. It was all drawn in her face. Hehehe

Peace!!!

We went home and took some rest. Bryan came to my hotel, visiting me and aga. We went to find dinner at the nearest steak restaurant. We ate a lot of steak with economical price. A perfect fit to my condition!! And bryan slept over at our room. He snored! Oh my god he was snoring in my ear. But aga said I was snoring too. Shoot! I didn’t know I snore too…

I was awake by the sound of the shower. It was aga. He always took a bath in early morning. It’s so contrast to my habit. It was a Sunday morning. Ima texted me just in time, saying that there’s a weekly market every Sunday morning called ‘Sunday Morning’. Dopeng came when bryan left. Then dopeng, aga and I went to Sunday morning. It was a great market. They were selling a lot of things and mostly they’re so flirty. I was unconditionally lack of money. So buying things was not a good idea, at all.

And then we spent the rest of the day, going to theatre. We watched A*team. It was an outstanding action movie. If you are an adrenaline junkies, it’s a good movie to trigger your action fantasy. Very interesting!Night came, this time, dopeng decided to stay at our hotel too.
It comes to a dawn, we loafed all morning. We did nothing at all until 4 pm. It’s time to come home. I continued my journey going to Surabaya. I took a train definitely.

Whole New Life!

By the 12th of June, I came back to Java, actually Ucha and I. But my destination wasn’t the eastern java anymore. We were on board to Jakarta. We were about to register our name in university of Indonesia which is dated June 17th. There were about 4 days of waiting.

I didn’t do much to spend those 4 days. But Ucha’s family did a lot, and luckily I was with them. So I didn’t have to get died of boredom. I was like the black sheep of the family. LOL

That doesn’t matter. We had done so many errands right there, adventurous and luxurious. One experience I could never forget, we went to tanah abang by city bus and it was so cruel and shocking. But tanah abang was a great grocery center. I loved it. I wish I could come back there and buy some goods.

17th June. Ucha and I were preparing to go to Depok. It was so dawn when we were leaving the hotel. Considering all the experiences about registering at UI was the only reason why we departed so early. Some said it would be a very long and tiring day. And they were true about it. At the entrance door, there were hundreds, or maybe thousands people standing in long queue orderly according to each specific faculty. I was standing in the middle of the queue of psychology faculty. But I must have forgotten to tell you, June 17th was the second day of registration, it was the turn for the social faculties. The preceding day was meant for the science faculties.

Not long after that, I came into the hall. It was a big hall. But it was a scary hall I think, the tribune was so steep. Like I was standing in the edge of a cliff, I was so utterly afraid of losing my balance. I am potent enough to have a phobia of height. But apparently not in mall, it was all safety by the fence in every corner. I took a seat and filled all forms in my hands. Soon after that, I came out and again, another queue. It took my time the most, like one to two hours.

Once I got in, everything seemed to be working well, no more long queues, just continuous procedures which didn’t take me to a long sitting and waiting. I measured my yellow jacket and took a picture for my ID card. It looked bad.

And then out the hall again and fled to check my health, whether I am capable to follow all the lectures or not. It was really boring.

It was all done by 3 pm. We were leaving UI, and I decided to separate from ucha’s family. I was going to my sister-in-law’s sister’s house. And so I took all my luggage with me.
The next day, I took a train and moved to Jogja.

HEI WORLD!

HEY WORLD. It’s been awhile, right. I’d been here and there. LOL
Let’s see. Ouh I hadn’t been around since those blue days I guess. Since someone broke my heart so deeply. Guess what happened right after that? I survived!!!! LOL

And UAN is a total history.

So, still remember how worried I was about being admitted to a college?
I did ITB test for major Management. Well it was a magical fortune. I got in, but there was the start of my dilemma and confusion. Also my adventurous trip to get to the college I’d wanted.
Like collecting things, I put ITB in my pocket. I really wanted to take the ITB option, but unfortunately it’d be so damn expensive. I didn’t want to be a burden to my parents. So I put it in the latest order of choosing college. And so I heard about Unair first intake. My friends and I flew to Surabaya for it, of course. There were Aga, Enno, Usi, Arlin, Ucha, Bargas, Ocha, Risma and I staying at Aga’s residence. He has a great house in Surabaya, and it happened to be unoccupied. So we stayed there for about a week. We prepared for the test.

I got admitted to Unair for major pharmacy, and again, I put it in my pocket. Since I didn’t really like pharmacy, I really wished I could get into UI. That was my last hope.

By the 8th of May, which happened to be my birthday, the announcement of Simak UI Intake which I had months ago was published both online and newspaper. I went to cybercafé of course. And miracle happened again. I was admitted for major psychology.

I didn’t know whether it was exciting or not. I was aiming the management, and I didn’t expect my last choice – psychology. I was so concerned to be in faculty of economic. That made me disappointed. I was resentful. But then I remembered, I always wanted to be a psychologist since I was young. Then I decided to take UI instead of the others. And so I dispose those other options I’d been keeping in my pocket. Sorry for both universities, I didn’t mean to mess around with you. But I had to think about my parents and their financial, I didn’t want to make them eat poor meal everyday for paying my damn expensive tuition fee. So I decided to go to UI. It was cheap after all. I mean among the three options I remained. All I have to do is to be grateful right now. I hope psychology will do good to me.

So I remained staying at Surabaya. Coincidentally, Ucha was admitted too. Unair and UI. We had a same fate. But it was just may and we had nothing to do in Java. So we both went home and spent the rest of May in Bontang.

It was a good month.

Epic

Hmm. I was so emo, right. Well I have to admit, I cried. I cried so much that night. I cried shamelessly like a child craving for something he couldn't achieve. Or a child who just lost his teddy bear.
Now I'm ashamed to my dad. He asked why I was crying. I couldn't answer. And I can't answer here too. It's the most stupid thing, and regretly to say, I've done it.

So that's the reason why I skipped UAS first day. I wasn't ready for it. I couldn't study at the night before it, as I said, I had a heavy heart. I was tired too, I just had UI test at Samarinda.


The driver was crazy! It was like he was having heavy heart for something, so he drove madly, very extreme. Firstly, I didn't care much about it, but when the centrifugal kept messing up the whole bus, I became freaked out. Unfortunately I picked seat at the back, so I felt the whole sensation, I didn't miss a thing. I was reading Arlin's book until I gave up. But then I moved to the middle seat of the bus, so that I could read the book uninterruptedly. The book was actually entertaining, sad but enjoyable. It's titled,, hmm I forgot. I can only remember the word 'senja di wajahmu'. I think... But when the night fell, I stopped reading.
I also bought English novel, but it sucks. You must know about Oliver Twist. Well I wasn't interested in it. There are also some stories which is more interesting for me, like Alice In Wonderland, Frankenstain, those old legendary tales. But when Alice came to one third of Oliver Twist's thickness at the same price, economically, I chose Oliver Twist. But when I came back home, I unwrapped the wrapping plastic and I was surprised of how complicated the sentences are. How would you have not been so afraid when that giant bus drives exceeding 100 KPH!

So, that was Sunday. I started continuing my life at the following day, Monday. Skipping school, I spent the whole day watching TV, eating, and so on until I studied history. Bryan came to my house, he was like the only one who could smile me up when my smiles were currently turned upside down. It's like he gave me the miracle when I felt so lonely, down, and trapped in the depth of deranged feeling - when I tried to cheer up myself pathetically by singing SO WHAT over and over again. Alecia Beth Moore cheered me up with her distinct rockstyle.

One thing for sure, things are not getting better in time. I need time to heal the pain, maybe it'll take my whole life time.
I almost forgot to add, there's farewell party, prom night, on the sixteenth of April. All I need is a fairy godmother who'll transform me beautifully that only lasts until 12pm.

Ucha and Usi came to my house when I was about to begin blogging, asking me to have breakfast together. Well I said I didn't have money, I'm at the most crisis point of monetary. She persuaded me more, she said she's giving me loan. awkey, then I came along with them. Usi was so Qteeeeeeee! I couldn't bear, she was like five years old chubby baby girl. Sometimes, Ucha and I wished something ridiculous like the perfect USI look-a-like doll. A doll which has the same moisture, rubbery cheeks. I would buy one for myself. hahahaha


Then, I'm kinda fed up with crying, and broken heart stuff, all those things resulting me in pimples. I'm afraid my tear gland is going to have a long drought right after a long rainy season.
And this created new habit, I slapped myself when my reverie goes on, contemplating or even worst, regretting. But the kinetic for the slapping hurts me sometime. :(

I ate a lot when I felt depressed. I ate two portions of pangsit last night. I thought I couldn't make it up, but eventually I did.


Well, do you think it's kinda uneven for boys to cry?

Aku Menangis Hebat Semalam

Seperti anak kecil yang kehilangan mainannya.

Jalgayo

SO so WHAAT

Again, it's quoted from a song. Because I'm avoiding blue songs instead of cheerful and encouraging.
I like this part the most,

"So so what, I'm still a rock star. I got my rock moves. And I don't need you. And guess what? I'm having more fun. And now that we're done. I'm gonna show you tonight, I'm alright, I'm just fine, and you're a tool so!"


The song is fun, yet, after getting bored with the song, I like it, again. But I don't know yet, if I actually sing this song, what the lyric would be. "So so what? I'm still a ..."what? I don't have anything of myself to be proud of. stupid~

So it's friday already, and I haven't studied anything. Gosh I really worry now. hmm... I planned to study last night, but there was a blackout. shoot! So I decided to sleep. I hope this day, I will get sufficient study.


Hmm, something unusual happened couple a day ago. My house had an unexpected visitor standing in my kitchen. It was a small LIZARD. It startled me. I ran towards my dad and let him know. He was kind of afraid too. But we finally made it. We cooperated and he successfully wrapped IT with a napkin. He wanted me to throw it away. Andwaee!! I hate lizards, I despise REPTILES. Ugh It's so repulsive I couldn't bear it. But finally I collected enough guts to throw it away. I threw it in front of the house. I don't care where it would go. Ugh....
Then my dad was suffocating. He said it was tiring.

SIGH~ All I have to do now is inhale and exhale. Inhale cheerful stuffs and exhale all of the sorrow. I believe everything gets better in time. :)

There's a Possibility

These words were quoted from the soundtrack of Twilight Saga - New moon, which is my favorit movie from the tetralogy of twilight saga. Possibility by Lykke Li. This is the background song when Bella is utterly depressed because Edward left her with no reason. She was stressed out and always staring at the window, summer, autumn, winter...

The song has a sad atmosphere, in fact, very sad. Like the perfect suicidal soundtrack.

And the song was incredibly fit to me either. I've had sort of depression too. But not because my vampire boyfriend left me, because of some reasons. I exiled myself a week after UN.

Oh, UN had passed, and so had the UTUL. I hope I can get the best in both of them. So that I don't have to worry about study anymore, just like I do now. I worry much about SIMAK UI, which is going to be held this Sunday, and also UAS. All of the UAS subjects are the subjects I hate at most. History, civil, computer, agh.. I hate memorizing so much. But apparently I have to go through with them, since I'm taking IPC test at SIMAK, so at least civil and history will do. :)

so, back to my depression, I had exiled myself, I deactivated my facebook account, in which I always got depression in it when I maintained using it. So, I threw it all away. Then I watched lot of movies. I went to odiva few times, Odiva is a kind of rental shop for DVDs and VCDs, chainshop... I also tried to eat lot of ice creams, now I'm having cough as a result :(

I watched Coraline, Ice Age, Ghost Town, Cloudy with a chance of Meatball, made of Honor, and Julie & Julia. The last one impressed me the most. The title is not so interesting, but considering Meryl Streep and Amy Adams star the movie, I was interested enough to pick that out to the cashier desk.

The movie is about cooking. Julia Child (Meryl Streep) was a woman who tried to spend his leisure time, but she had no idea about it, since she and her husband didn't have any children. She tried to learn poker, but she quitted. In the end, she tried to master cooking, and she mastered it very well. Then she successfully published cooking book about french food in English, which at that time, there was no such a book made in English. The recipes are incredible. The food seemed so delicious.
And then, go to future, Julie Powell (Amy Adams) is Julia Child's number one fan. She likes cooking either. One day, she tries to create blog which all of the contents are about her cooking experiences. Actually, she is evaluating all of the Julia Child's recipes. At first, she says the idea was such a deranged idea, but eventually she's done 524 recipes in 365 days. how wonderful..
the movie is kinda hilarious either. I like Meryl Streep, I like her accent. So bloody french...



The blog thing really impresses me. By blogging, she's got lot of fans. She gets miscellaneous from her fans, sent via mail. Just so my dream. But I'm not so good at cooking, so what can I do to impress the world. Oh I wish someday there's a mail from my fans. hahahaha

But the quality of the Discs weren't good. Sometimes I had to skip some parts because the movie stopped playing. So silly. well that is rental shop. I cannot sue. hahaha

Now I'm busy finishing Kkot boda namja. I've done 24 out of 25 episodes. too bad the last one has the very bad quality. unlike the other 24, so sadly I cannot watch the episodes 25. The film stops everytime, just like buffering on youtube. ugh!

Prayerful Day

Yep, according to the title, it was a day full of praying. Few days left to the final national exam. It’ll be nice to have it done - to have all of this busyness well done. Final exam will be held approximately on Monday to Friday. Wish me Luck!

And Saturday morning I will be off to Balikpapan, having UTUL test – UGM one. I hope everything’s gonna be alright, since I already failed in the PBS before. So it’s not my first time having UGM selection test. And it will be like the previous test, we’ll stay in Zurich Hotel. There’s rumor that the hotel was scary and spooky. Some said there is something behind the purpose of mirror placing in each floor.

About today, we were all in aula, at first. Then teachers distinguished us according to our own beliefs, ordering Christ people to go to multimedia, perhaps, and the rest moslems to stay in aula. We did sholat dhuha and got some guidance from our teachers, both technically about UN and religiously about self-introspection. They said, it’s the most important thing right now, besides studying hard – we have to get ourselves to be closer to our almighty lord. That was the point of the preach this morning.






check the rest of happiness combined with silliness here.

Epidemic

Here’s the day, the following day. Nothing goes so nice so far, just as planned and as I thought, boring and uninteresting. LOL

But yes something did yesterday. Not nice actually, bad. I went to sleep earlier, by 9 pm. Because I was utterly upset for something I cannot tell you what. It was a bad night. I planned to study by three in the morning but it’s still a rough time for me to stay wake up. So it’s pointless anyway.

When I checked my phone, there were seven new messages. Most of them contained about friendships which are going to end as the last term ends. That’s so sad. But I didn’t feel sad because I was sleepy and out of consciousness.

Today is Thursday, definitely. We got invitation for our parents to attend the parents meeting due to the coming UN and inform them about the try out scores. My parents were not coming, but my brother was, because my dad was having his schedule for his routine hemodialysis and my mom was in duty, she’s a teacher. He represents my parents. He was so enthusiastic about this, I don’t know why. Even my parents don’t. LOL

Since my parents don’t care about this, in contrast, my brother might be really enthusiastic about it. And now I’m afraid he will scold me later after he finds out that I was absent for a day try out. I was sick and preparing ITB test. I hope I can get in. Just wait and hope I would be admitted, because it was very painful to be denied from a university, and traumatic!

He was the figure that most of friends afraid of. LOL they said he has dark aura that will decrease their happiness and turn into sorrow. Imaginative!

He went out from the room and gave me the result. Nothing’s special, as usual, pure seven. And there are some 6s too. LOL

Oh… there was English class again. I was too suspicious that he would repeat the preceding bad day. But no, he talked something more regarding the UN. And Ucha asked him to sing together again. Then she got her wish, we sang “I can’t Smile without You” again. But then, he asked Aga and Ori to take a guitar from his office. Then he played the guitar. Try to defy me what song it was?

Simply “Love of My Life” by queen. That’s probably the same-aged song. But it was nice. He then searched the lyric out the internet.And I was mesmerized by the lyric, simple but deep. I was touched. It’s like the song was written perfectly as what my conscience is. You know, I’m an adolescent, I can feel the bloom of teenager’s love. LOL stupid excuse…

And friends were humming so smoothly, like the glory of angels. Of course I wouldn’t sing, I wouldn’t let this glorious joy get disrupted by my crappy voice. LOL out of tune…

Since “Love of My Life” was influenced by Queen, he also added the biography of the singer. He’s dead now. He was dead in 1991 due to Bronchial Pneumonia, because of his AIDS affliction. My teacher added that he was once a gay, but he wasn’t anymore because he showed to the world that he married a woman. Try to find about his more in Wikipedia.

how can I stand still?

Hmm. The days were going pathetically the same. Yeah we all know it’s a week before UN is going to be held, but why does YPK still oblige us to go to school regularly? Seeing as how free now the other schools are, I’m a bit jealous, you know. Isn’t it just unfair? But sometimes I have to remind myself to stop groaning about this, these all are meant for my best. Besides, I’m not guaranteeing myself that I will study in home as frequent as I do in school. It’s good overall, but still, the hardest thing to do is to wake up by 6 sharp.

UN is coming and I still can breathe, not suffocating already. I worry much about college. I hope I can really get the university I’ve wanted. I’m afraid they won’t admit me. Hope things will be easy. Amen.

Soon after that I can emit sighs of relief. I’ll be freshman and yet, getting older. Huh~ I’ll be very distance with my parents. Hope I can survive out there. May Allah be with me all the time and let me keep in touch with Allah.

Today wasn’t a good day, so far. You know, English is the only exhilarating subject to me amongst those frustrating exact subjects – such as physics, chem, bio and math. But, the English teacher is not expected. He is the only reason why I felt so gross for learning English. Isn’t a teacher supposed to teach the students accordingly? Like evaluating preceding Examinations, talking grammars, translating together… That’d be fun. But guess he only evaluated Examination once, the very first one. After that, no more evaluating... All we do is exercising without an evaluation. How great is that? How do we determine our faults? Maybe he got tired teaching for so many years.

Or sometimes he discusses a very boring topic with us, pointless topic. Without knowing where our conversation goes. And also, he occasionally neglects us, sadly we had no struggle.

Lastly, he brought a speaker to our class and then played an old music – more like his favorite music, and then let us transcribe the lyric. Eventually, he coerced us to sing together. Ugh, I didn’t want to sing, so I lipsynced. Once he caught me for not singing, he admonished me that if I hadn’t sung, he would let me sing in front of the class. He should know that I don’t sing (at least not in front of people), because I really don’t have a good voice, no singing aptitude at all. Seriously, he doesn’t want me to do it. LOL

Suppose I enjoy the music, I liked his music, but it’s like two years ago. I’m already sick of the song. Barry Manilow – I Can’t Smile Without You. Oh snap, even Dea and I had been singing the song and changed the lyric like “..I feel glad when you’re sad, I feel sad when you’re glad…”

So lame…Gross!

The next song was Josh Groban – To Where You Are. It’s a good song, but it came along with him, it doesn’t fit to my ear. LOL. It’s like he was trying to adjust us to be influenced with HIS. Maybe next time he will have us half bald too. No sir, just kidding.

Kiddo

UGH… I always think of this stupid epidemic that unconditionally irritates me all the time. Everytime I log on to facebook all those conspicuousness will definitely show up on my screen.
About the underage people who use socialite community, and even worse, they declare themselves mature enough to be the part of it. It’s just so not a good circumstance when immature people think that they’re mature and talk as if they’re ten years older than me. And for what do they have to expose their private life to public. So taggy. Gross… This isn’t about jealousy. I so don’t want to be like them, of course. I detest it. I realize much my age and act like what I’m supposed to be.

Well about this mindset, I think I’m in a phase of maturity – a phase when a teenager has to leave ridiculous stuffs and think more about future and all of seriousness. I think I’m having this phase. Forget about being so kiddy, just so not my era now. All I have to contemplate is my future – a bright future, and life. Life is short and just don’t let it go to waste.
Uhh sooner or later I’m facing the unexpected graduation. After three years hanging together, I don’t want us to be apart. It’s like my worst nightmare is coming to reality. We’ve been held tightly in this togetherness. Now it’s the perfect time to sing Graduation by Vitamin-C

Argh I think I need more vocabulary expansion.

nationalism?

ok i'm going to talk something different this time, less personal, less about my daily life. more about mind set.

yesterday, officials from Euro Management came along to our school from jakarta for giving us a presentation about study aboard or sometimes popular as study overseas. to where? to europe of course. they have two options, germany or france. i was interested to go to france but my destination changed as they finished the presentation and description of benefits dwelling in germany. the college fee is very cheap. cheap cheap cheap cheap!!! even if you're lucky you don't have pay any bucks. just think about the living cost. it's a bit considerable. living cost for a month can add up to 600 euro. hmm. but they said, after the first year, the fees will no longer be a problem to you. because you're allowed to get a part time job with a tempting salary. that is able to cover up the outcome from your parents or else you don't have to ask for money to your parents anymore as the third term begins. interested so far?
awh, okay my purpose is not to promote the euro management.
i just want to tell that it's very hard to me to decide now.

the procedure is, you have to pay for the language course in jakarta. for about 6 months starting this July 2010. so you'll be leaving to europe by the january of 2011 and officially admitted to a university by the summer of 2011. how long? very longggggg. i'm not sure i can keep up...

they said, european really appreaciate and cherish each other. he also added that doctor has a common allowance as most of other jobs. That's what we cannot find in this bleepin country.

this is the difference between europe and indonesia. indonesians, not all, really care about their self importance. they only think about themselves and less think about the others. as we live in a community, in social, we should care about others instead of getting rid of weak people, or putting other people down. that's the inherited behavior that would never go change, i think. i love indonesia so much, it's my motherland, but i dislike indonesian and the way indonesian people use to think. it's not more than about selfishness, ambition, obsessiveness, and money.

it's my luck that i live in a good surrounding--a sincere, honest, nice, thoughtful, intelligence community. we just don't know yet, will we get the precise surrounding in present or a worse one? no one guarantees.

so that's what i was conceiving at the preach of "sholat jumat" this time. I could barely hear the preacher speakin so my mind had gone out somewhere further than where i spot. i'm fascinated by the simple-short presentation yesterday. it's just awesome. but i don't want to postpone my freshman-ness until next year. it just sucks...

and you know what sucks a lot more?
this feelin about someone. lol

OH! It's finally Out

Since I'm utterly in love with SNSD, or most known as Girls Generation, I've been waiting the OH! MV these days.

ahh it's soo young on the screen, my fave in SNSD.

Oh I think I'm lovin the entire MV.

LIKE BEING HIT BY A BULLET

I swear it was a rough night. It rained very very heavily. You could never imagine how harsh it was. It was just like the raining-dawn a week ago, but accompanied with rumbling thunder. It shocked me very much. I would never see such a horrible lightning like it was. Me, aman, vitha and ea got shocked and probably couldn't move and say much words, besides the expression of being shocked.

Ok, I tell you the chronologycal order.

Vitha is leaving this dawn, to grogot. She's got a job in PAMA mining factory. Ea, who is her bestfriend, wanted to make goodbye party. The night was all OK when I left the house. I didn't think much about what the wheather would be, I just left the house towards vitha's house. Oh and we brought one more passenger, aman.

The rain started raining heavily when we stopped at vitha's BF's house.

The night conducted in on plan. until, ucha texted me that she's in my house waiting for me. Hey I had just arrived in berbas when I received her text. And it's impossible for me to interrupt the show. Vitha was so hilarious. But in other side, I couldn't stop worrying about ucha. She kept saying she would stay until I get home. I couldn't even figure approximately what time I would be home. We were so flexible.

I told ea that ucha was waiting in my house. But I think she ignored my warns and continued talking verbose with vitha.

And after the shocking lightning--I swear it looked more like a flash from an SLR camera--there was a blackout. My worries raised on top. I texted her, asking how's she doin. But her reply didn't imply that she needed to see me very soon. So I let the show conducted. Until ea became very sleepy, we decided to leave vitha's house--after finishing our 'tahu tek'.

it was great, 'tahu tek' with a lightning-shocked sensation. My heart couldn't stop beating that time.

We headed towards home--the rain started to stop falling. But I still have to drive ea and aman home. And ucha was still waiting, my mom said. I drifted throught the wet road, I wouldn't think what risks I took if I exceed the speed limit. It would be harmful for both passengers. even me.

When my car stopped exactly in the front of my house, ucha had already left my house. There was only her motorcycle parked orderly in my garage, but she was already at home.

I felt really sorry to her. Til now she's kinda upset and I still don't know what to do with her motorcycle. shall I drive it to school tomorrow?

ea and aman felt guilty now.. I thought I had already told 'em about ucha, but they wouldn't notice.

please I need shrink in less than 6 hours.

I drove aman home, then ea.

one thing for sure, ea wouldn't listen to my warnings until what I warn occurs.

Weekday

weekend passed very very quickly. I didn't even enjoy my sunday. I woke at 10 am in the morning and was loafing all time in my bed while browsing the internet.

The day was so hot, and the day turned blue. Mother of friend of my died yesterday. She was bangkit's mother. He's strong though. I hope he'll be strong and keep chasing his dreams--to be an artist I think.

At the dusk, I tried to finish my 'fixing room' sequence. I started last friday and should be finished soon. haha and finally I finished it by 9pm. wkwkwk

what a rough time...

I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

the title I took is not related to what I'm going to write. It's a title of a novel that then I quoted here. It's... FIERCE. I love it.


It's saturday again and I had to go to additional class in the morning. How sucks..
We got the schedule paper two weeks ago. It was scheduled that the class will conduct at 8 am. But Mr. Suraji asked us to come half hour earlier last week--in case there was a briefing of Tes Daya Serap. I thought it was an exception and this saturday would be back as the printed schedule. I purposely went to school at 8, and voila. I was late. Fortunately, the first class was english, lectured by Mr. Maskud. He was nice, he allowed me to have a seat. Had it been Mr. Suraji's class, I would die for just facing him and finding excuses that he would never ever accept.

Class should end by 12.30 pm. But it didn't. People from STT-Telkom came along from their native place for just giving us Try Out. Some of us denied to do the try outs and sneakingly left the school. I couldn't leave the school, I'ma good boy. haha
I did the try out and found out it was shockingly difficult.

Today was bryan's birthday. When I was about to sleep last night, I checked my 5700 and the calendar informed me about his birthday. And soon after that, I texted him a birthday greeting. I hope I would be the first who send him birthday greets.
We asked him to celebrate it with feast. We insisted him, but he kept saying no. But no long after that, at 3 pm maybe, I received a text message announcing feast celebration tonight at koprasi. I'd like to come, but I got a feeling that tonight is not a good night. I don't know. I still have 1 hour to decide whether go or not.

ahaha. arya sent me an album containing pictures against Naburo comic--a stupid comic that being sold throughout the nation. The comic is very bad with the scent of plagiarism, bad-drawing-skill, and so on. It rates 3 out of 10.

can you smell the plagiarism? please be hating it.

although i'm not a huge fans of naruto, I feel like this comic has exceeded the limit. lol

When I woke up at the morning, I was figuring about law of conservation of energy--empirical law of physics. making it as an analogycal thought. Love is an equivalent to the law. That the loss of energy is an equivalent to the energy achieved. Just like love. The love we've just given to a person, eventhough that person doesn't give back the love, you'll still receive love from other people. Who just loved you so much. that's what I think. what do you think about it?

Friday Today

hmm. I sleep occasionally these days. even when I intended to have a rest, I couldn't fall asleep. So I slept at 12 am last night after Arya sent me a horrific pictures. He was first sending me a site, I smelt a rat at the site he gave me. I checked at the google, and my suspicious was true. It's described in list of shocking sites, a similar site to http://killerjo.net. Then I taunted on him.
But he didn't give up, he gave me a link of jpg file. I opened it but when the 10% showed up, I was sure it was pic of ghost. I closed the tab. Unfortunately, the pic was showed on the screen of Yahoo! Messenger. I hate it. I shut down my laptop and tried to sleep with a frightening thought.

I woke up at 6 and got prepared as soon as possible. There was my nephew, Kautsar. He's 2.

He played a round with me. I didn't think I would be late for just spending a while with him, but when I arrived at school, the gates were already closed and Mr. Santo was already in the front of them. I was never late before.
He brought us to the field, giving us punishment. We were being seen by hundreds pairs of eyes. Ohh, ok I'm gonna be famous soon.
Had I been late at the previous day, the reason I give would be more relevant..
Luckily we were being forgiven, all we had to do is to swear for never coming lately again. Otherwise, we'll have to clean the entire school park with brooms or even the worse, hands.

The first subject was biology.
No second, there was only parents meeting. Teacher gave them a result paper of the three try outs. I flunked one out of three. I got 8 on my chemistry.
Good I have a careless parents, or else my parents gonna kill me when they see I got 4 on math. lol


hey do you remember the 'defendant'. I finally demanded what his reason was but still curious to obtain a reasonable one. He said he was forgot. and he didn't forget to say sorry.
But I was still resentful, why would he reply with Y. He said his cell was turned off for several days. Then who did send me Y. that's what I didn't get.
Plus, he was sorry for not picking me this morning. He thought that was the reason I was late today. sorry bro, I'm not gonna take a risk for your oblivion.


I left the school much earlier. Ea asked me to see dance, but I was too sleepy. So I refused. I hate additional class at the afternoon.

Appeasing Day

Maybe I would probably change my statement. Sleeping in hospital was not that bad. really. I slept there last night to take care of my dad and it was all great. I just needed more time to sleep. I occasionally sleep these days. And I got 50thousand for sitting my dad. yay.
Nonetheless, I didn't take a nap this afternoon because I have 3pm schedule-additional class.
hmm. It was still a great day though.

I went to school way earlier this morning because I woke earlier too. I woke at 5.30am and left the hospital by 6am. I enjoyed the morning breeze instead of shivered. I took a bath then and prepared. I left the house wif my motorcycle (I took my motorcycle from hospital, not gonna take another risk. lol).

I brought stupid piles of papers. Papers from the previous try out, school wanted us to have our own copy because school was so stingy. It costs very expensive you knooow! 100thousand rupiah for twenty five copies, and we had scarcity of fund-there was only 33thousand rupiahs left in the wallet. How could this be...
I used my money first. They have to collect funds to replace my 100thousand.

The first subject was english. Crap, I got 8. I don't know why, I never got 9 in my english test. Never!
Maybe I'd like to have speaking test rather than reading and so on. Deciding the explicits and implicits. I hate that.
Thus, it made me upset. But it's ok, at least I don't have to do additional assignment. Dea does. lol.

Then physics, then math. About math, I thought I could finish the half, but not all of them were correct.
And I had math, again, in my additional class.
After school, Me, dea, usi, ea and ucha went to buy mpek mpek rosa. Dea gave me loan. hehe. She didn't know I had enough money to afford it. ^^
It was nice having it while talking about people. They're sooo, gossipers. How innocent I was, getting in the hole of these gossipers. Subhanallah.. haha. They even talked about my faults. Hey I am who I am, gurlz...
And it was raining, again. Bontang would never stop raining this month. That makes this small town is quite similar to Forks-fictional city where the Cullens live. I'm gonna be Jasper Hale then. *no against statements is allowed*

I came back home when it was still raining-a drizzle. I saw my aunt's car, I guessed she's in the house. Not a big deal, she's not a menace to me. hehe
We talked for several minutes, and again, I talked about my interests. Colleges, future, jobs, life, and so on.
To my surprise, she knows sort of abbrevations of University stuffs like PBS, PBUPD, utul, and so on. Things that my mother doesn't know, doesn't even want to know. Her children is still young-not any older than me, but she already knows everything. She admitted that she asked her friends. She left me some advices. Religiously and educationally. She said I need to get close to my creator. To her, it's impossible to reach a succeed without tawakkal to Allah. It's a worth advice after all.

My dad will be leaving soon tonight after his five hours-hemodialysis. yay him!

nooo,, i can't believe ♪

Ok here we go again.

Today should tend to be a good day. But it wasn't. Remembering it's the last day of third try out, it was really suppose to be a nice day.

hmm here where the story begins.
My dad was being hospitalized, and still is. Hmm, I went to hospital last monday, wif my motorcycle. But when I was heading home, it was raining very heavily. It was impossible for me to sweep over the rain, no. Besides I have important load-my mother. So I decided to go wif car. (like i said)
So I left my motorcycle at the hospital (it's been 3 days there, maybe it's sitting my dad right now).
And then, I still have to go to school as regular as usual. Ok the first day I was riding car because it was raining badly, then the second, I didn't want to.

"For several reasons" :
1st. The gasoline is going to run out.
2nd. It is a waste if I had to go alone, minimally one passenger.

So i'm figuring this thing out. I found a solution-to have a ride with my friend. I contacted him soon after that. I was giving a question, the Y/N. He gave Y. I took that as a yes.

So, in the dawn, I woke up way earlier than I did usually, in case I need to catch up with him. I took a bath. and so on. Then I waited for a while. I was worried, that till 15 mins to 7, he hadn't showed up. And I was positive he wouldn't come when I checked my watch, it's five mins to 7. How could be? I took the key and roared the engine. I drifted to school. I think he was going to be late-he always was. Or else he forgot. I was a bit upset. I murmured on my way to class. To my surprise, he was already in the class. In a blink of an eye, I turned... I don't know. Should I be mad, or what. I don't have rights. How could he say Y but he didn't make it real. what the.. I still can't demand what reason was! hahaha

"here's the defendant"

Dea caught up wif me this afternoon. We went to restaurant for lunch. It was our favorit meal-traditional fried chicken called 'Ayam Kremez'. It was satisfying, with ten thousand we can get a piece of chicken meat, one portion of rice, two fried eggplants, two pieces fried tempe, vegetables like cucumber,cabbage etc, and a sambal. Plus, a drink whether ice tea or orange squash.

While having it, we talked about our interests in future. I told her about my aim to work internationally. She told me her dreams too. She wants to be a doctor. Or else she wants to be the wife of doctor. lol. She won't find any doctor fellas in ITS-her second choice.

Then we bought pop ice.

haigoo~

1,2,3,4,5. yep, it's been 5 months i haven't posted anything here.
A.. I don't know. Maybe i have been a little busy, or maybe got affected by the most-common disease-lazy.
There are absolutely a lot of things that have done in a range of July to January. And of course I cannot give you details.

How's my daily life recently? Hmm. busy!
Utterly busy...
hey, now i'm on the senior year. It means, less than 3 months I will be leaving Bontang. Where? That's what i'm figuring out now. I'd like to go to Management School of ITB, but I don't know why, i'm in a terrible dilemma now. I was considering that this faculty I will choose is the one thing I wanted all this time. I was considering about better prospect- it means I should be successful in the future.
Don't you ask me why I suddenly put myself into Business stuff. The answer is, my dad. He prompted me to go to SBM. And I even more like his idea since I want to work internationally.
And I think this faculty will bring me those chances. Thus I think it's not so bad if I decide to be take SBM.

Senior year is mostly related to National Examination. Yep, my school had started all of the preparation, like TRY OUTS for instance. We've done two Try Outs so far, and continuing the third this week.
This try out is different from the other two. The try out is held throughout the province- east Kalimantan. Government tries to make a simulation of a real UN. Well, I hope that really works.
And the difficulty is a little more enhanced than that of the previous. I don't even know what 'Condolences' is. ahh too bad.. I was very, very sleepy this morning. When I was completing english test.. I didn't sleep well last night. Sleeping in hospital was not as cozy as sleeping at home. My dad was being hospitalized. Then I left the hospital by 5.30 am. It was raining harshly. Thunderstorm. I cannot see the way inside the car. I set the wipers at the maximum speed but it was still not enough to clean my sight.

About math test... For the god's sake I hate Calculus' Limit. They blinded me!
I only finished 25 problems, and for now.. I don't care.
I only care about tomorrow. I cannot wait for the super combination of physics and chemistry.

I want to skip this phase. All I want to do now is to get into the University I want without being dilemma. And soon after that, I could have a vacation.